Sisterhood

Oh, Hey there! (Insert waving hand emoji)

I don't have time to be writing this and there definitely isn't time to go over it afterwards and make sure it's picture perfect - free of errors - and that's okay because here's the thing.

I need to get this out there.

It's been months since I wrote anything and well, it was December and we all know as makers what it's like leading up to Christmas. You basically say goodbye to all your loved ones, including yourself while you frantically prepare for the Christmas rush only to find yourself feeling... unprepared. Hah. I shake my head and roll my eyes at how crazy the holidays are now that I am a full time entrepreneur. You feel me? 

310 more days until Christmas. Mark your Calendars!

I can make a million excuses as to why I haven't written a blog since the last one but in reality it all comes down to this. 

I HAVE BEEN BUSY! 

Like, so busy. And when I'm not busy I am relaxing thinking about how after I'm done relaxing I am going to go back to being so busy. Can I get an AMEN if you're with me? It's nuts-o being your own boss and I wouldn't change it for anything but man oh man, time really does fly!

So, here I am at 9:41pm on a Wednesday night. I think it's Wednesday. Something I also lose track of are days. For all I know it could very well be the middle of Spring Break 2031. 

In all seriousness though I sit here and feel the desire to share with you something so beautiful that happened this week and before I lose track of time (again) or let this precious moment slip away, I want to share it will all of you. 

Years ago I had a vision. 

That vision was this:

I wanted to be on a beach with a pregnant woman and a woman who recently had a baby. We would be holding hands and there would be a photographer capturing the beauty and well, the not so beautiful parts of Infertility in my case.

Period. 

Side note: I would then use these photos for my booth at the markets to raise awareness on Infertility and also inform customers that when they purchase a baby blanket proceeds go towards Canadian couples struggling to conceive. 

Days, months went on and I kept putting it off because I had a zillion other things to do and then finally I got sick and tired of myself and said "Hey dude. You've been wanting to do this for HOW LONG? Okay. Shit or get off the pot."

So, I made it happen and I couldn't have made that happen without the support of each and every person who helped make my vision come true. Even though I sit here typing like a crazy person there really aren't enough words to describe how beautiful of a night it was. 

The photographers who so kindly took the time out of their own busy lives to do the shoot, free of charge were a mother - daughter team here on Vancouver Island. They are the sweetest, kindest souls I've ever met and they make you feel so comfortable behind the camera. 

Now, this is her story to tell so I won't use her name however I will share this with you. This brave soul shared with me a few days before the photoshoot that she in fact was 8 or 9 weeks pregnant and she just found out that she lost the baby.

*Sigh*

I couldn't fricken' believe what I was reading. I said out loud, "Noooo! Noooo! Omg. Nooooo." I quickly wrote her back and told her how much she was loved and supported and said all the things you say to someone in those shoes even though you feel like a total idiot for not knowing what to say. I mean, no one trains us on this kind of shit and the thing is - it happens more often than not. 

I suggested that we wait to do the photoshoot and she pushed through and said she was up for it. 

I got off my phone that night and as I sat in bed I couldn't help but think of her strength.

Her strength was admirable. 

Her vulnerability was admirable. 

Her willingess to share such a heart wrenching loss was admirable. 

She, she was and is admirable.

Then, reality hit. 

This was and is the exact reason why I so openly talk about my struggles with Infertilty. Hey, it might make some people uncomfortable and that's okay. I know it does but the bigger picture for me is that it makes a lot of people feel less alone, including myself. 

I stayed so damn silent for so many years and didn't know what to do or who to talk to and that's coming from someone who NEVER stays silent unless I'm at church or someone is paying me $5 to not talk for 1 minute. 

When opening up to friends, family and even strangers, I learned that there were so many people out there in the same boat and I realized that most of them didn't feel like there was a safe place to talk about the most challenging time in their life. I mean, how do you go on talking about struggles with Infertilty with someone with 3 kids running around the house like a bunch of wild hienas whilst throwing Cheerios all over the damn place? 

It's doable but it's weird. 

Getting back to the shoot. 

A woman with her babe.

A woman about to pop with her first. 

A woman in grief with her lost baby still inside.

A woman without any of the above.

Strangers.

But so strongly connected. 

Because that ladies is what sisterhood is. You don't have to be my bestfriend to love and support me. I don't have to know you from a hole in the ground but I support and love you if you're doing good things in this world. 

We need more relationships like this and I thank Social Media (I can't believe I just typed that. I swear I'm from 1987 and still have a casette player in my VW van. I am old. I like old fashion stuff.)

But seriously, I do thank Social Media because it allows us to connect with some amazing people out there that we most likely wouldn't bump into on the street and that, that is cool. 

In closing because my eyes are burning as if I put fake eyelashes on and had an allergic reaction to the glue. Yes, that's happened to me before. Au natural all the way. 

I'd like to leave you with this. 

Be kind. 

Support your gals.

Support all the gals. 

Create such a badass group of rad chicks in your life that no matter what you are going through, you feel supported and loved in every aspect, direction that your life is headed in. 

Women are so POWERFUL and I am proud to be a woman! I am proud to know each and every single one of you and hey, if we haven't met, I support and love you too. 

You got this.

Kindly, 

Erin

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